ARABIAN NIGHTS
Subtitles by Bogdan PETRICEICU-MUJDEU
We are terrible sorry for the missing minutes
In the twinkling of an eye.
More... more!
More, more!
Later... Magic is very exhausting...
and I am 542 years old.
Oh... you don't look a day over 200.
Yes, I'm still as bad as ever I was.
We'll continue after I've got my rest.
Thank you for not telling your friend the Demon.
He's not my friend, he's my husband.
He keeps me in that box because he's so jealous.
I saved you from him.
And now you must make love to me, while my husband sleeps.
If you don't, I'll wake him up...
and he'll rip your head off.
Oh, not again, Sayid.
Giafar, I had that dream again.
The Demon's wife, she tried to kill me, so I killed her.
You've had it now for five years...
ever since your late wife tried to do the same thing.
- I murdered her... - It was an accident, Sayid.
It was an accident!
Allah is just. You're free of her, Sayid.
I'll never be free of her, she haunts me still.
Don't let her.
Don't you forget, I have to take a wife by the next full moon...
or the kingdom will be given to my dear brother.
May he rot in hell!
Your father wanted you to marry.
I can't take another wife, she'll try to kill me too, they all will!
You must.
You lose the kingdom unless you marry as quickly as possible.
I know what it means... even the Demon was betrayed...
the dream tells me all wives are treacherous.
No, no, you just had a bad experience, Sayid.
There's only one way to deal with wives, they have to be executed.
Well, I'm sure we've all felt like that.
I will marry. There will be a wedding and a wedding night...
but in the morning, I'll have my wife executed.
I'll kill her before she kills me.
She can't be a princess of the blood, her death would cause problems.
Pick me a woman from the Harem, Giafar.
Someone bright and happy...
and with no thought for the future.
And in secret... now send for the Chief Executioner.
But that was not the end of the story.
After Douban was beheaded, the King licked his fingers...
and turned to the page in the dead man's book.
He stared at the words, and then slumped forward...
dead!
The pages of the book had been poisoned...
so that the King, wetting his finger, had executed himself.
Here again, mistress.
That's the sixth time this week.
These people sit for hours just listening...
it's a miracle.
People need stories more than bread itself...
they tell us how to live, and why.
Sorry I'm late, father.
This is my daughter, Scheherazade. She's my strong right arm...
you may speak freely in front of her.
How is the Sultan?
The Sultan is being eaten by the worm of madness...
it reminds me a little of the case of Gilgamesh...
the king of Urak when his friend, the grand warrior...
- Can you cure the Sultan? - No... only Allah can do that.
- How was Gilgamesh cured? - It was a young woman who did it.
No one knows how... a complete amateur. Beginner's luck.
That sort of thing can be really, really distressing...
for an experienced professional like myself.
When did Schahriar become so ill?
When I played with him as a child in the palace he was always so happy.
Everybody loved him.
Madness creeps in unseen and floods the soul.
You're no help!
Patients often say that, but what do they know?
Should I get a second opinion?
Why not? I can come back tomorrow.
I didn't know Schahriar was this ill.
I've been trying to keep it from everybody.
You look terrible, father.
Oh, it's only natural. I have to deal with the worst kind of madman...
a madman with power!
You understand what is needed?
I know my job, Sayid.
You wish your bride to be executed the morning after the wedding.
Early.
There are certain procedural problems, Sayid...
as I will be executing her after the wedding...
it means she will be Sultaness...
who by tradition cannot be hung or beheaded.
Details... details!
Never fear, Sayid, where there is a will, there is a way.
- I can strangle her. - That's what I want.
But, I can't use hemp rope...
...not on a royal throat. - Must I be crossed at every turn?
But there's no objection to silk!
A silk rope would fulfill all legal requirements...
rely on me, Sayid.
They haven't seen each other for years.
That's enough, girls.
Scheherazade.
The Sultan's going to kill us!
- Who told you that? - My mother.
She got it from the cook...
who got it straight from the Chief Executioner's Assistant, it's a secret.
And her mother's never wrong. I heard it from a handmaid...
...who heard it from one of the guards. - He's going to marry one of us.
In the morning after the wedding he is going to have the bride executed.
- He's mad, isn't he? - And it won't stop there.
He'll get a taste for it and kill us all!
I'm sure it's just a rumor.
Don't worry, I'll talk to my father.
- Father, I must speak with you. - What are you doing here, child?
Put some clothes on, Father, it's urgent.
I blame your late lamented mother, it's all her fault.
Please be quick, father...
or they'll say you're meeting women in the steam room.
The women in the Harem are frightened that it won't stop at one girl...
the Sultan may get a taste for killing them.
If Schahriar wasn't the Sultan he'd be locked away till the madness passed.
He was such a loving boy...
we used to climb his father's favorite peach tree.
One day I fell and cut myself.
He bound up the wound.
Oh, what am I going to do, child? I can't go through with this.
I can't pick a poor girl from the Harem...
knowing I'm condemning her to death!
I may have a way out for you, father.
I'll marry Sultan Schahriar myself.
I won't let you sacrifice yourself for me.
I'm not doing it for you, father...
I'm not even doing it to save the girls in the Harem...
I'm doing it for Schahriar and myself.
I love him.
No, you love the boy he was, not the man he is.
That boy is still there in him.
You'd have to dig very, very deep to find him, he's changed completely!
It's not just betrayal by his wife and brother...
absolute power has eaten his soul. I know him...
you think you can change him, but you can't. No one can.
- I don't believe that. - Scheherazade, listen to me, listen!
You are all I have. I beg you.
I beg you!
Don't do this!
I can save him from himself...
I don't know how...
but I've made up my mind. I know I can do it.
Daughter, when you walk out onto that balcony...
you'll be married and you will have signed your own death certificate.
If you love me, please, please, please...
...please, don't do this. - I know what I'm doing, father.
You don't. You have no idea what you're doing.
Sayid, your brother, Schahzenan, wishes to offer his blessings.
May they choke him.
He wants to be reconciled...
it would be good, Sayid, for peace.
Think of the people.
Show them you're brothers again.
Schahzenan, kill him! Kill him!
Oh, my love.
Traitor!
No, no.
I hope you have better luck this time, brother.
Your late wife loved me from the first.
How will we know when Sultan's ready?
Be cool.
I think pink will suit the Sultaness.
You have such good taste, Chief.
Sayid, do you remember me?
From when we were children.
We played together here in the palace, then I went away.
I don't remember anything about my childhood.
What's to remember? I was a child! Why should I?
What is it, Sayid?
I don't trust you.
There's something going on I don't know about.
Your Giafar's daughter, yet he let you...
marry me.
Oh, I dream too much...
forty nights...
can't sleep...
so I dream.
My father always takes a glass of wine and a biscuit...
before going to bed.
This isn't a night when a man is supposed to sleep.
There.
Is something the matter?
That biscuit has sesame seeds...
I don't like sesame seeds...
- Did I say something funny? - No.
It's just that "sesame" remind me of this wonderful story...
would you like to hear it?
I don't like stories.
You will this one.
It's about Ali Baba and the forty thieves.
Forty thieves?
Forty nights of dreaming, and now Forty Thieves... That's strange!
Yes, but no stranger than the story itself.
You see, Ali Baba was a poor young man who lived outside Damascus.
His best friend had a hump, four legs...
and very big teeth.
Saffrow was one of the wisest camels in all Syria.
Ali Baba's only family was an older brother, Cassian.
I know Saffrow, I know.
Cassian!
Wake up!
It's time to get up. Come on.
Unlike his young brother, Cassian was so lazy.
I told you I don't like stories.
A master storyteller once told me...
the audience must be hooked in the first moments...
otherwise you've lost them.
I'm lost.
That's because I haven't told you about Black...
Black Coda.
At the time the Kingdom was being ravaged by savage gangs.
BlacK Coda led the most murderous of them.
A monster.
Black...
Coda.
No one was safe.
What's he got to do with Ali Baba?
He made Ali Baba rich and famous.
No caravan could travel without fear.
They never Knew when or where BlacK Coda would striKe next.
He was a master of disguise.
Meanwhile, Ali Baba was collecting firewood to sell in the local marKet.
He was a really good-hearted young man.
It's a slow way to make a fortune, Abdul...
and I've so many good ideas for making money...
like my scheme for watering plum trees with alcohol to grow stewed plums.
I don't care what you think, Saffrow, I think it's a good idea.
You think that's trouble, do you, Saffrow?
I think you're right.
Saffrow's warning saved Ali Baba.
Animals can be cleverer than their masters.
And you can trust them.
Open Sesame!
Down!
Open Sesame!
Down, boys!
Down.
Open Sesame!
Saffrow!
Saffrow! We're rich!
Have you ever seen anything like it?
Only in your wildest dreams! Well, not in your dreams, in mine.
It's raining.
Mother, bring in the washing.
No, it's not raining, your mother's been dead for five years. Get up!
- What's for breakfast? - Fresh air.
Why are you sleeping on the edge of the bed?
So I can just drop off.
Well, get up... I've got something to show you.
We're going to have to move house...
in case the robbers find out who was in their cave.
I want my share.
Of course. I don't want it all for myself.
- What half-and-half? - Half-and-half.
I'm going to the cave to get my share. No, it could be dangerous.
I can take care of myself.
If you must go, take Saffrow, she knows the way.
She'll see you don't get into any trouble.
Saffrow's a camel!
"You don't thinK I need a camel to looK after me, do you?"
Both Ali Baba and Saffrow nodded.
There was no question in their minds...
that Cassian certainly needed someone to look after him.
Why was Cassian any different from Ali Baba?
Ali had something Cassian never had...
a good heart.
You think a good heart can protect people?
Have you ever known anyone with a good heart?
No.
Well, anyway, with Saffrow's help...
Cassian found the robber's cave.
Open!
What is it?
Open... open.
Ali Baba had given to Cassian two biscuits...
to remind of the password.
"Open sesame!"
Down boys!
Down!
I must get Saffrow.
Open... open!
How was it, then? Open...
Open... Open.
Open.
Open... open corn!
Open barley!
Open Sesame!
Open Sesame...
that was it.
Open Sesame...
Meanwhile, whilst Cassian was getting himself Killed...
Ali Baba had hired himself a young serving girl, Morgiana...
to help him now he had money.
What was this Morgiana liKe?
Some said she was beautiful.
But she was certainly clever... and very independent.
She sounds liKe you.
LiKe me?
Oh, no, she wasn't like me. Not like me at all!
That's everything, sir.
Saffrow...
where's my brother?
Where's Cassian?
Oh, poor Cassian!
I should have tried harder to stop him.
Don't blame yourself.
Come, we should leave as soon as possible.
No, we must take him with us.
Is that wise?
When the robbers come back and see the body's gone...
they'll know Cassian had friends or family...
they might try and find you and do to you what they did to your brother.
I know you're right Morgiana, but he must have a decent burial.
We can't... we can't leave him for the vultures to pick on his bones.
He's my brother.
BlacK Coda's men move through the city.
Robbers find nothing wrong in robbery...
except when it happens to them.
I feel... sad.
But don't you like your new house?
Of course I do.
I just wish Cassian were here to enjoy it with me... I miss him.
It's natural...
he was your brother.
Everyone should have good fortune...
but it just much better...
if there's someone to enjoy it with.
And so the evil Black Coda walked up to the city gates...
ready to slaughter Ali Baba and everyone in his house.
What's the matter?
Nothing, Sayid.
What happened to Ali and Morgiana? What happened next...
and did Black Coda kill them...
and... don't you know?
Of course I know, but I'm tired.
It's already morning.
It can't be morning, morning never comes for me, it's always night.
I've lost track of time.
So... you won't go on?
Yes...
but storytelling's best done at night...
at least for me...
I mean, it's hard to create the right atmosphere with the sun shining...
don't you think?
It's a trick! A trick to trick me!
No!
- What is it, Sayid? - I want you...
to meet somebody!
Who are these men?
Friends, Sultaness.
Please, stay calm.
Stay back!
Sayid!
No.
- Please, stay calm. - Stay back!
Sayid!
Sayid, no...
You will finish the story of Ali Baba tomorrow night!
I sit in the bazaar, telling stories...
but if the audience isn't interested in what I'm saying...
it walks away.
But if your audience isn't interested...
you're dead.
I thought it would be easy but it isn't.
I almost lost it before I got started.
I've told you before, the first moments are vital.
I paused at a good point...
with the thieves sneaking into Damascus to kill Ali Baba.
Sneaking in how? In what?
- A wagon. - Too ordinary...
it has to be something more exotic...
your starting your story again...
you have to hook your audience again.
- How? - I was walking last night past...
the Great Mosque in the street of Sighs...
exactly an hour after sundown...
when I came face to face...
with Death.
Had he come for you?
See...
you're hooked!
As I was saying, Black Coda brought his whole gang into Damascus...
in a wagon, to murder Ali Baba.
But it was no ordinary wagon.
The wagon was carrying an amount of stone jars.
How did Black Coda explain the jars?
What's this, old man?
Forty jars of lamp oil...
for the royal palace.
Forty jars of oil...
that's clever... that's very clever...
obviously Black Coda had a black heart...
but a very bright brain.
He had that, alright.
Naturally, Ali had no idea of the danger he was in.
He didn't tremble...
when he should have trembled.
How're we going to protect him, Saffrow? He's a dreamer!
What about all those schemes for making money?
He needs someone to look after him.
Yeah... I love him...
but does he love me?
Your a camel, what do you know about love?
I'm sorry...
your a wise camel, aren't you?
There's a wagon parked in the street outside.
It's a merchant, lady, with jars of oil for the palace...
he asked permission to leave his wagon there for a few hours.
Did you check him closely?
Yes, lady.
- How much did he give you? - Nothing, lady, nothing!
- Isn't there any more oil in the house? - We have to buy some tomorrow.
Didn't you say that merchant had some jars of oil?
Yes.
He won't mind us talking a little for the night.
We'll pay him in the morning.
Life often turns on such small things...
as a flicKering oil lamp.
Praise be to Allah... it can't be long before the killing starts.
Morgiana, this man's got a marvelous idea...
for breeding termites with wooden legs...
- I think I should invest... - They've come, Ali!
Who?
The murderers you stole the money from.
I've got an idea...
follow me.
Chief?
Chief, is that you?
Any moment now.
Hear that men? Any moment now!
Excellent.
The Black Coda's men.
BlacK Coda's men hung liKe ripe fruit.
It was all over.
Well. Not quite.
Ali Baba threw a magnificent party...
to celebrate the defeat of BlacK Coda and his gang.
Nostradem!
The chief attraction was the most famous entertainer in all of Islam.
Their joKes enthusiasm the town.
It day to celebrate...
because with the help of my friend, Morgiana...
Black Coda's gang have been crushed like...
beetles.
Ask if Morgiana will dance for us, Ali Baba...
she's a beautiful dancer!
Morgiana.
I didn't know that, Morgiana.
I can't dance a step.
I'll show you.
Morgiana!
That's not funny.
Not funny at all.
Morgiana, what have you done?
They all kill! Women are born to hell!
They kill without reason!
She had her reasons.
I... I saw the tattoo when I offered him wine.
Oh, what would I do without you?
Is that the end of the story?
No, no, no.
Faisal and his wife, Safil...
from Constantinople, were at Ali Baba's wedding.
Faisal had designed Morgiana's wedding dress.
He was one of the best tailors in the East...
but both he and his wife always looKed liKe they'd been stuffed...
by a good taxidermist.
At the wedding...
they met an extraordinary friend they hadn't seen for years.
Who?
A hunchback.
His name was... BacBac.
Good name, BacBac.
BacBac liKed it too...
in fact, BacBac liKed most things about himself... even his hump...
without it, he may not have become the Sultan's favorite Jester.
I've always supported my family, they've never wanted for anything...
apart from uncle Abdulah, he's wanted for bigamy and murder...
in that order.
Anyway, bacK in Constantinople...
Faisal invited BacBac to supper...
and BacBac never turned down a free meal.
You know Prince Sinbad?
Oh, he is so ugly even starvation won't look him in the face!
I tell you, I tell you... no tide would take him out...
when he eats a banana, he eats it sideways.
And his wife!
Oh! Her face is all dried and wrinkled like a prune!
She's the sort of woman you have to look at twice.
The first time, you don't believe it!
At her wedding, everyone kissed the groom!
BacBac?
- I think he's dead. - Dead? He can't be dead.
You're fooling us, aren't you, BacBac? Another one of your jokes!
He must have suffocated.
Probably a bone, a fish bone got stuck in his throat.
Poor BacBac. We must tell the authorities.
They'll blame us.
- It was an accident! - They'll still blame us...
he was the Sultan's favorite...
"There they go, the people whom killed poor little BacBac."
- We'll lose all our customers! - Reputation shattered...
credit destroyed, income lost.
What're we going to do?
We could take him to that old physician next door.
It's too late for a physician, he needs an undertaker.
I mean leave him there...
Let someone else take the blame...
that sounds good!
Calm!
Come on!
He is heavy!
- We'll leave him here. - Good.
Come on.
Who's that?
- Can I help you? - We came to see Dr. Ezra...
for our friend, if it's not too late.
It's never too late with Dr. Ezra.
- You wanna bet? - I'll get him...
your friend doesn't look too good.
Let's go.
Come on, hurry.
Ezra, we have a customer.
- Another penniless vagrant? - No, he's paid...
he's outside on the landing.
Show him to me, my dear, before he gets away!
He's waiting on the stairs. Be careful...
I can't see where he...
Ezra... Ezra, Ezra, speak to me!
You must wear your glasses, Ezra...
how do you feel?
- I don't know. - You don't know, you're a physician!
So I'm a physician...
so what else you want you should tell me?
Sir... your friends said you don't feel very well.
I'm sure my husband can help you...
- No, he can't. - Of course you can.
No, I don't think so.
He's dead.
- The fall down the stairs! - A terrible accident!
It's worse than that.
He comes here for medical treatment and he ends up dead!
What will this do to your reputation, Ezra?
He looks familiar.
The Sultan's Jester!
Alas, poor BacBac.
- I knew him well. - We're doomed!
We'll be blamed... we're foreigners!
Help me carry him upstairs... hurry!
It's amazing how quicKly people can improvise when they have to...
the Ezra's had to taKe a gamble...
forgetting that gambling is only a way of getting nothing...
for something.
There's nothing worse than being alone in a strange city.
Lift his arms up, so he'll slide down easier.
It's as if he doesn't like what we're doing.
Nonsense! He'd see the funny side of it.
Oh, Buddha, show me a sign...
say I'm not forsaken in a foreign land...
Robbers! Thieves!
My hands are lethal!
Dead.
I told you about my hands!
I know you...
the famous BacBac... the Sultan's Jester...
Why did you come down my chimney?
It's a joke to set the whole town laughing...
well, the laugh's on you, Jester BacBac...
no, the laugh's on me...
they'll say I murdered you... I'll be hanged...
Think of something, Hi-Ching, think of something...
Murder! I'm being attacked!
You'll get no money from me!
You'll get not a penny from me...
Guards, guards, seize this man...
he just tried to kill me!
- Instead, you killed him. - I... I did... splendid!
You're drunk.
- This is BacBac... - Drunk?
The Sultan's Jester.
- BacBac? - And you killed him.
Why should I kill him, we haven't even been introduced?
That is for a judge to decide.
And when he has, we'll hang you!
The trial of Jerome Gribbin was the social event of the season.
The judge in the case was the venerable Judge Zadic.
Judge Zadic was totally incompetent...
but being a judge, nobody had noticed.
...which I suggest is death, death by hanging.
Why did you kill him?
I thought he was trying to rob me.
BacBac rob you?
Forty years administring justice...
worst excuse I ever heard!
- I made a mistake. - You certainly did...
all Constantinople will miss poor BacBac...
we will never see the like of him again...
A fellow of infinite jest...
"infinite jest", that's a good one...
write that down, clerk, before I forget it.
BacBac lightened our lives...
he gave us laughter, rich and overflowing...
laughter from the heart. A heart as big as he was small...
we knew him, we loved him...
we laughed with him...
we'll remember him all our days.
I sentence you to hang.
Assassin!
No, no, please, no!
- No, no, please! No! - Who is this Chinese person?
I killed the poor hunchback. I stuffed him in the alcove.
No! No!
I killed poor BacBac, and dropped him down Hi-Ching's chimney.
No! I killed poor BacBac.
- I don't understand... - I killed him...
...my hands are lethal! - I tripped over him in the dark!
He's very short-sighted. You can't hang a man for that!
It was a fishbone!
I'm still the best tailor in Constantinople!
- My head's splitting... - Order in the Court! Order! Order!
I'll have a lamb shish-kebab!
Your Majesty.
Who killed my funny man Jester BacBac?
I did!
Who do I hang, Sayiddi?
Nobody.
It was an accident!
Besides being my Jester, Master BacBac was my friend...
and if I knew him right he would've appreciated...
the manner of his death, it was his final jest...
dear BacBac didn't have to be alive to be funny...
even dead, he made us laugh!
As the crowd were leaving the courtroom...
the most famous magician in Africa, Mustappa...
passed by on his way to SamarKand.
He was a charismatic man with piercing eyes a seductive voice...
and a manner that would freeze friends at twenty paces.
But he came into a room the mice jumped on chairs...
but he isn't the hero of this story.
Who is then?
Eh... Sinbad...
Aladdin.
No!
Cheat. It's all a cheat.
That race was fixed!
No question... anyone could see that, Aladdin!
Honest men like us go for a day at the races...
and get cheated blind out of our hard earned money.
- It just shows honesty doesn't pay. - Let's get back to work.
Sorry, excuse me.
My purse! I've been robbed!
- What's the matter, sir? - That young rogue...
the one who bumped into me picked my pocket!
I saw which way he went. This way follow me!
Stop thief!
Who's in the coach?
Let's find out.
Who's that?
Princess Zobeide, the Caliph's daughter.
- Come on. Let's get out of here. - I'm in love!
Come on!
There they are.
Where did you come from?
From the other side of the world. Africa.
- What do you want with me? - Stay calm, Aladdin...
do I look like I'm with the Caliph's guards?
I'm always calm. How do you know my name?
- I was a friend of your late father. - I didn't know he had any friends.
Oh, very few... just me.
Your father was so crooked...
he could hide in the shadow of a corkscrew.
You did know him!
- Do you want to become rich? - Yes, but quick!
It's the best way.
Business? Shady business?
Shady... shifty... shadowy...
but profitable.
What do I have to do?
First of all, I have to check your suitability...
Good.
Meet me tomorrow outside the city gates at dawn.
Here's a small token of my good faith.
And so Aladdin and Mustappa left SamarKand.
He didn't trust Mustappa, but when there was money involved...
Aladdin was prepared to taKe a few risKs...
I don't want to boast, but I've never met anyone...
who can live with me in a straight fight, magic to magic...
So what do want me for if you're so powerful?
All power has its limits...
I want you to retrieve an object for me...
I can't get it myself, for reasons too complicated to get into...
its to do with the rules of magic...
they're tiresome, but they must be obeyed.
Why pick me?
You didn't believe I was a friend of your father's?
Not for a moment... so, why me?
I saw larceny in your soul.
What do you want me to do?
I want you to go into a tomb...
You'll find an old lamp there. I want you to bring it to me.
What tomb?
- There. - How much?
- We'll discuss that when you get back. - No, we discuss it now, or I don't go.
Fifty gold pieces.
Please, don't insult me...
and don't ask me to trust you. I don't even trust my own shadow.
Two hundred!
Done!
Here's half.
You gave it to easily. I should have asked for more.
You do so remind me of me when I was young!
Here now take this ring...
rub it if you get into any kind of trouble.
Trouble? What sort of trouble?
Two hundred is not enough!
A deal is a deal! Don't try and betray me...
if you do, I swear by Hector's feathers...
you'll never see your wedding day.
Who's Hector?
My pet raven and my best friend.
Aladdin didn't Know what Kind of trouble he was getting into...
if he had, he wouldn't have taKen the two hundred...
on the other hand, he probably would...
Go on... go on!
Aladdin, have you got the lamp?
Hand it up to me... it'll be easier for you to get out.
- It's no trouble, I can get up myself. - Pass it up to me... there's a good boy.
I'm not a good boy!
Give it to me or you'll make me very angry.
I'm angry already!
Do you think I'm gullible enough to fall for that old trick?
You ride off with the lamp, without paying me what you owe me!
It's an insult to my professional integrity.
You get your lamp when I get my gold!
- You think I'd ride off? - Yes! You've got those shifty eyes!
You cheap street scum!
I resent the word "cheap".
I was going to raise you up...
now I cast you down!
You want the lamp? Keep it, damn you!
Damn you!
This was a crisis.
And in a crisis, there's nothing more effective than magic...
Who're you?
Omar Khayyan! I'm the Genie of the Ring, who else?
Look...
Stamp of authenticity!
But before I answer anymore questions...
what color was my smoke?
Was it blue? If it was blue, it means that I am melancholy and sanguine.
That means that I need more "me" time.
What do you want. I have enemies, I have a migraine...
What do you think I want...
I want out!
I always about you, never about me.
Get me out of here, take me home...
put me out, I'm on fire.
Allah! Allah! We're going to die! I don't want to die!
Come on, pull yourself together!
Please spare me, I'm only seven hundred and nineteen years old!
I was going to repent, I was going on a diet, oh, please...
Get us out of here!
Have you ever heard of the magic word please?
Because I work for you doesn't mean you...
can treat me like some sort of manslave or a eunuch or less than that!
Are we understood?
The light! The light! I cannot see!
I am blind! It's too bright!
My body is aching! I shall go home.
Salaam.
I don't understand.
Why would Mustappa pick the best rogue in all Samarkand...
to get this piece of junk?
- It's demeaning! - It must be worth something...
or he wouldn't have gone to all the trouble.
You're right, son. Maybe it's a priceless antique.
Don't just stand there like a leaning tower of jelly!
- Talk to him! - Why me?
I'm just a poor, weak widow-woman!
It's your lamp!
Good evening.
- Friend? - Speak up...
insignificant mortal lowly one!
- Who are you? - Who am I?
Who am I?
Have you not heard of me?
I am the Lamp Genie!
The Lamp Genie!
Wishes, avarice, dreams, power...
premature and violent death...
Well, scratch the last one.
You're like the Genie of the Ring?
Like the Genie of the Ring?
I who oppose the will of Heaven?
Never!
His powers are as nothing...
as compared to mine!
- Are you two related? - No.
Well, maybe. I don't know. The tests were inconclusive.
- What can you do? - What can I do?
What can I do? I don't know.
How about anything...
for starters?
And that was the beginning of it.
Aladdin, a rogue, a son of a rogue, from a family of rogues...
found he could have everything he ever wanted.
All he had to do was ask.
So? So?
So what did he ask for?
- We can save that for tomorrow night. - I want to know now!
Not tomorrow night! It's your fault!
You made the story so gripping with your wit and your charm and...
and your beauty.
What's my beauty got to do with story-telling?
Because I lose interest for a moment, I see your face and I can't leave.
Please tell me what happened to Aladdin.
- Sayid... tomorrow night. - I order you!
It wouldn't be the same story if I was ordered to tell it.
- It's all tricks! - Remember what happened...
to Mustappa when he lost his temper.
- He lost his wonderful lamp. - Tell me!
Tomorrow night!
Chief, now!
Just wait till tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night.
- But he wasn't laughing, was he? - No that's right. He wasn't.
I let you live so you could finish the story of Aladdin...
you should at least get it right.
Now...
there was a storm, wasn't there?
Yes, there was...
You were saying?
I am your humble and obedient servant.
What? I didn't get that!
Oh, nothing, just a mere technicality...
the fine print on my contract, so to speak.
- You have to obey me, don't you? - I, obey you?
I should cast you into a sea of torment...
I should have you trampled in...
yes, you can have anything you ever wanted.
How about stopping the rain?
I'm sure there must be another...
wish I can grant your exalted Lord and Master Aladdin...
I'm in love with the Princess Zobeide...
...the Caliph's daughter... - Love?
I don't know her, but I've seen her across a crowded street...
It's usually across a crowded room, as strange as that may seem.
- I want her! - I can give you things, Master Aladdin...
but when it comes to the human heart, I am powerless.
You can have anything in the world...
you want and all you can think of asking for...
is for some young chit of a girl who isn't good enough for you!
- Genie, you can give us things? - You've got it in one, Mother.
Not so much of the "Mother". I'm young enough to be your granddaughter.
- Things, like money... - I've never heard that request before.
You would be the first to ever ask for that.
Bushels and bushels of money!
With money, you don't need magic!
Are you sure that's the way you want to go?
I mean, money is great and all, but everybody asks for money.
Why not ask for something new and exciting?
Okay, how about some sort of flying machine?
What?
A flying machine?
So you could fly all over the world? You could have drinks...
and someone could serve us peanuts!
A flying machine! Maybe we should just stick with the money.
Make way for the lovely Princess Seleh Alcouz of Souman...
Aladdin's mother put on an extraordinarily...
vulgar display of wealth...
but as usual, it worked.
We have more petitions, Your Majesty, they're important.
Your son Gulnare doesn't think so.
Wake up.